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“I’m Not Sure How I Feel”: Why Does This Happen, and What Can I Do About It?

How do you feel? There are times when we feel completely lost in our emotional world… Continue reading to learn how to decipher it!

The main cause of difficulties in identifying emotions is that no one has taught us how to do so. The low priority that is usually given to mental health contributes to people ignoring how they feel. “I don’t know how I feel” is what we psychologists frequently hear in psychotherapy sessions.

Because emotions serve multiple functions, not knowing how we feel can be a serious issue. As a result, our inability to recognize them prevents us from processing and learning from them. In fact, being unable to recognize and express feelings has been linked to a variety of mental health issues.

Why am I unsure about my emotions?

Our default response when asked “How are you?” is frequently “fine.” But is it really about well-being, or is that just an automatic response?

This may bring up even another crucial query: how frequently do you pause throughout the day to consider your feelings? Given the studies that have been done in this area, it is likely that you don’t do it frequently.

It’s a different problem, though, if you don’t know how you feel, despite your efforts to concentrate on it. In that situation, there may be a variety of barriers to feeling and expressing ourselves. Because of this, whenever we ask these patients a question about their emotions, they frequently respond, “I don’t know how I feel.”

One of the keys to solving the issue efficiently is figuring out its cause. Otherwise, it can worsen, become chronic, or even become incapacitating. The most common reasons for this form of emotional shock are examined here.

Inadequate emotional education

Emotional education, unlike mathematics, language, or history, is not part of the curriculum. We learn to differentiate emotions through socialization experiences from the time we are very young. That is to say, most of what we learn is done implicitly. Our discourses are filled with causes and consequences of our emotional state rather than descriptors of that emotional state.

We now understand that language is critical for sharing, transmitting, differentiating, and identifying information. That is why it is important for our emotional learning to enrich our emotional semantics, both for conversations with others and for internal dialogue.

Alexithymia

Alexithymia is associated with issues in emotion recognition and expression. Although it is not a disorder listed in any official text, many doctors consider it to be a specific condition.

According to a study, there is sufficient evidence to conclude that alexithymia is related to the suppression of specific brain areas, including the insula and amygdala. The prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex would also be connected to this change (Goerlich, 2018). Along the similar lines, a deficiency in emotional education might be a role in its growth.

Depression

Affective flatness might result from depressive episodes. Even the sad emotion itself may be difficult for a depressed patient to recognize. There is research linking alexithymia to depression, although it is not definitive (Hemming et al., 2019).

Methods for enhancing emotional intelligence

While it is a problem that can have many consequences for us, it is possible to work on it. As previously stated, learning influences someone’s ability to recognize emotions. As a result, it is possible to improve emotional intelligence by implementing the strategies outlined below.

1. Accept your emotions

Ignoring one’s feelings is one of the key causes of the phrase “I don’t know how I feel.” Some people have a tendency to repress their emotions because they feel incapable of controlling them. Or they might be worried about “blowing up” if they express their feelings in public.

So, the first step is to accept all of your feelings, both good and bad. Remember that emotions can teach you things about yourself and your surroundings.

For instance, when you experience grief, you might recognize that a certain event has some sort of impact on you. The use of mindfulness is a wise strategy to reach this objective. This method of therapy encourages us to stay in the moment and accept our feelings and thoughts without passing judgment on them. So developing your emotional intelligence can be beneficial.

2. Pay attention to the feelings in your body

There is a significant physiological component to emotions. Consider the “butterflies” you get in your stomach when you’re romantically attracted. These bodily reactions are important indicators that will assist you in determining how you feel. Focusing is a useful technique.

Consider a hypothetical situation in which a patient is experiencing anger but is unable to identify it. Perhaps he clenches his fists unconsciously when describing the source of his rage. In that case, the therapist may instruct him to concentrate on his fists and think about how he feels. It might also be useful to imagine what your fists would say if they could talk.

3. Establish coherence between your thoughts and actions

To fit into the social environment, people may act in ways that are inconsistent with their emotional condition. For instance, when we must remain at a social gathering while maintaining a smile out of respect for the person being recognized, even though we are actually quite depressed. Similar to this, we act in such a way when we find ourselves in stressful circumstances.

We may separate ourselves from our actions as a result of the disconnection between our emotions and our behaviors. Then, because it becomes more convenient for us to ignore difficulties or satisfy social expectations, we end up disregarding them.

4. Keep a diary of emotions

It can be helpful to record your ideas in a journal in order to have a more comprehensive understanding of your inner world.

You can develop a really helpful tool for yourself if you keep track of your feelings over time. You may see what kinds of things affect you and how they do so by keeping a journal.

5. Think about psychological care

Finally, think about getting professional help to work through your conflicts. Especially if you have other symptoms of depression, such as fatigue, despondency, hopelessness, suicidal ideation, or other signs of depression. As we’ve seen, the phrase “I don’t know how I feel” can conceal a slew of conflicts that jeopardize your health.

Source: lamenteesmaravillosa.com

 

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